Sunday, July 10, 2005
he's leaving bert's leaving soon.
for UWC canada.
and im not sure what im feeling.
elated that im finally beginning a new chapter of my life ?
a life without bert in it ?
but ive been living my life like that since feb/march.
i guess i do miss having a boyfriend.
esp since i saw bert so often in the past.
but do i miss HIM.
or jus a boyfriend figure ?
that, i haven reallie deciphered.
our time together was like a dream.
and dream that was TOO real.
but nonetheless, still a dream.
i know it happened.
but yet it feels so far away.
he's having a party.
a party i didnt noe of.
a party im not exactly invited to.
do i reallie not mean anything to him anymore ?
but anyhow, i doubt i wld go even if he asked.
its just too much to face.
i prefer to run frm reality den to face it.
i mean, if i cld avoid it.
why not right ?
anyhow, im happy and contended with my life right now.
im gna try to block out everything pertaining to him and lead my life happily.
memories of him still pain and hurt me.
i get agitated talking about him. (found out when i spoke to ryan abt him)
so, im chucking our past tgt behind me and out of sight.
and im gna lead my life as it is now.
single and free..
::
