Sunday, September 25, 2005
one week later jon and me thrashed things out abt some of our doubts and stuff.
there's much to solve in our relationship.
and the biggest problem thats on my mind is that if jon and i ever break up it would be regarding our faith and beliefs.
why does he have to be such a staunch christian ?
why does he have to be so easily influenced by his stupid cell grp leader and friends.
why not jus follow his heart and let it lead him to where he wants to go.
why let his faith dictate his life ? i mean, god gave us the choice and freedom to do things on our own accord right ?
he once mentioned that he would go all out to be with me and that if anything goes wrong, he wldnt mind learning it the hard way.. but he jus simply forgets everythin he once promised me and assurance he once gave me.
sometimes he makes me feel like im he one who's creating all the problems.
like im the one who's a burden to him.. cos im hindering his spirtual growth, and not spiritually inclined to him and hence cant support him..
like sarah, i hope jon would be like her and reject whatever pp has told him abt our relationship. sarah went straight up to her tcher and said that she liked her bf and has no intention of breaking up with him. even though jon's cg leader said that it was his choice, they are actually making the decision for him which defeats the purpose of saying its his choice.
honestly, im trying my ultimate best to make us work. its tiring but i have this feeling that its worth it all until the day he proves me wrong and makes me give up..
i honestly wish jon would be as strong in his love for me as sarah is for her bf.
it would make everything much simpler and less complicating and of cos less tiring.
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